In some breaking news, it has been reported that the infamous New York Rangers (NYR) General Manager Chris Drury has been fired. This news comes as no surprise to fans after his noticeably shitty trade decisions in recent seasons. 

On Mar. 23, 2026, the moon suddenly and mysteriously disappeared from Earth’s orbit.

For decades, success in sports has been measured in wins, losses, and the number of championships won. But according to many athletes and analysts, those metrics may no longer tell the full story. Instead, a new measure of success has been discovered—aura. 

Have you ever dreamed of waking up one day just a little bit more insufferable, pretentious, and self-titled as a cinephile? Well, aren’t you in luck! Here are some essential steps to achieving the ultimate film bro status (in a world that could always use more of them):

Although the recent season of Dancing with the Stars (2005-) (DWTS) has come to an end, The Lamron e-board has continued to discuss the show. Below is our formal ranking of where the e-board members would place on our own season of the show. 

This past weekend on Mar. 21, the Knights’ men’s football team emerged victorious in their semi-finals National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) match-up against Nazareth.

Knight’s Life Comic, The normaL, 3/28/2025

As has become a tradition for The Lamron’s executive board (e-board), we take time to check in with one another and let our true sentiments gush forth from the pits in which they’ve morbidly festered.

On Aug. 23, 2024, all members of the Geneseo community received an email from President Denise Battles. In this email, Battles announced that she would conclude her presidential service in the summer of 2025. It is with great respect that we say farewell to Denise Battles and display a grand welcome to SUNY Geneseo’s new President— and his name is John Cena.

After its soft opening on Nov. 7, 2024, Milne Library will be shutting its doors for continued construction. Though no exact reason has been given yet for the sudden reclosure, students are encouraged to retake their former study spots in the MacVittie College Union by any means necessary.

Listen, I know a lot of people think I’m just jealous of her because she somehow managed to pull Edward Cullen last year, but I swear this isn’t about that. Bella Swan is just… strange.

Arts & Entertainment Comic, The normaL, 3/28/2025

As an avid horror enjoyer, there are many things that I believe could have been avoided in horror movies if the characters weren’t so goddamn naive and just plain stupid. A lot of the shit that happens in these movies could have been avoided if protagonists had minded their damn business, but nooooo, everybody has to be a hero nowadays. That’s bullshit, save yourself bitch!

Every year when the calendar flips to March, sports fans are treated to the annual National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) Division I men's basketball, better known as “March Madness.”

Since the existence of social media platforms such as YouTube and TikTok, there have been trillions of influencers and content creators apologizing for scandals they created. The scandals and cancellations usually go like this: one ridiculously rich person does something to another ridiculously rich person, they make videos about each other, and then the internet goes batshit crazy— either choosing a side or revealing more information on why these influencers should be canceled.

The locker room was almost empty. Most of the guys had already showered and left, but Stephen lingered, running a towel over his damp hair. The rink was quiet now, the sharp echo of skates against ice replaced by the distant hum of the Zamboni— he wasn’t alone.

On Monday, Mar. 3, 2025, SUNY Geneseo Athletics reclassified their Division III program to Division I after bypassing the minimum five-year period of being Division II. Due to the impressive performances by both varsity and club sports teams, the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) recognizes the triumphs of past and present years. 

On Saturday, I decided to wind my evening down with a movie and a glass of wine, logging into the family Netflix account. In opening Netflix, I saw that in the “Continue Watching” section was something by the name of Heartstopper (2022- ).  

For eleven years, a Groundhog Day scandal has been kept under wraps, and that all stops today. From beyond the grave, I got the opportunity to sit with Charlotte, who has been denied a last name by those trying to cover up her existence. Charlotte was murdered at the hands of Bill de Blasio in 2014. She is finally ready to speak her truth about what happened on that fated day.