The NORMAL is The Lamron’s April Fools Edition of its weekly newspaper. Please keep in mind that all NORMAL articles are satire*.
* While The Lamron encourages discussion, all comments that include harassment or any sort of hate speech will be deleted promptly.
Be honest—Mavunzel is the ideal
Tangled (2010) is a movie that defined our generation. We know the music, we know the quotes, and we certainly know Rapunzel.
Geneseo tour guides quit after securing role on television
The SUNY Geneseo admissions office is in a state of panic. The admissions counselors walked into the office last Friday morning to find each tour guide's uniform in a big pile with a note saying, “We have swords up for the last time.”
Goncharov (1973): if you haven’t seen it, you should
“The greatest mafia movie ever made” echoes the tagline of Martin Scorsese’s 1973 semi-forgotten masterpiece Goncharov (1973). Known for its progressive but hard-to-follow plotline of a man at odds with himself post dissolution of the Soviet Union, fans connected deeply with the undertones of love, loss, and betrayal of those closest to you.
The Pitt (2025- ): A medical drama turns into medical education
The HBO Max medical drama, The Pitt (2025- ), has recently been named as one of the most medically accurate dramas ever created.
Becoming a pretentious film bro: A guide
Have you ever dreamed of waking up one day just a little bit more insufferable, pretentious, and self-titled as a cinephile? Well, aren’t you in luck! Here are some essential steps to achieving the ultimate film bro status (in a world that could always use more of them):
The Messy Bitch Museum: Where influencer drama lives forever
Since the existence of social media platforms such as YouTube and TikTok, there have been trillions of influencers and content creators apologizing for scandals they created. The scandals and cancellations usually go like this: one ridiculously rich person does something to another ridiculously rich person, they make videos about each other, and then the internet goes batshit crazy— either choosing a side or revealing more information on why these influencers should be canceled.
Heartstopper (2022- ) is turning our children gay!?
On Saturday, I decided to wind my evening down with a movie and a glass of wine, logging into the family Netflix account. In opening Netflix, I saw that in the “Continue Watching” section was something by the name of Heartstopper (2022- ).
We need to ban TV
Like Jesus himself, I have been resurrected to this platform to speak out against indecencies in our media. That’s right, my darling bitches, my bob has fresh, chunky highlights and my thigh-high boots are on, ready to walk you right into enlightenment.
Guaplord and $mokecheddathaassgetta to headline Spring Fest
Geneseo students far and wide have been wondering who will be featured at this year’s Spring Fest. Who could possibly top last year's performance by The Driver Era? Well, one dynamic duo has come to the rescue: Guaplord and $mokecheddathaassgetta.