If you’ve been in SUNY Geneseo’s academic buildings late at night, you might have noticed something…unusual. Students have started noticing that some of the campus statues—including Victor E. Knight and the College Union Geese—aren’t quite as stationary as everyone thought.

You wake up in Suffolk hall because your roommate has had an alarm going off for the past 15 minutes.

Earlier this month, the State University of New York at Geneseo was blessed with the presence of a 65-foot inflatable whale, as part of a three-day science and art event meant to raise awareness on the impacts of climate change.

The normaL has received word that a new construction company, Geneseo Squirrels, is going to be taking over various construction projects across SUNY Geneseo’s campus.

Have you seen this horse on campus? I have.

After its soft opening on Nov. 7, 2024, Milne Library will be shutting its doors for continued construction. Though no exact reason has been given yet for the sudden reclosure, students are encouraged to retake their former study spots in the MacVittie College Union by any means necessary.

For eleven years, a Groundhog Day scandal has been kept under wraps, and that all stops today. From beyond the grave, I got the opportunity to sit with Charlotte, who has been denied a last name by those trying to cover up her existence. Charlotte was murdered at the hands of Bill de Blasio in 2014. She is finally ready to speak her truth about what happened on that fated day. 

Are you a lonely, vitamin-D-deprived young adult? Has it been months since you have touched— or even seen —grass that does not resemble your roommates' damaged blonde hair? Never had an excuse to leave your dorm bed and get your blood circulating? If you are a student at SUNY Geneseo, the answer to all those questions is “yes.”

Are you sick and tired of making the dreaded walk to and from Orchard Street? Well, fear no longer— the Frats are getting a makeover! I have been tasked with the job of moving each individual frat to a new location. And before you ask, no, they have absolutely zero say in this, and I do not care if they hate their new house!