Opinion
The NORMAL is The Lamron’s April Fools Edition of its weekly newspaper. Please keep in mind that all NORMAL articles are satire*.
* While The Lamron encourages discussion, all comments that include harassment or any sort of hate speech will be deleted promptly.
Anything goes; nothing matters
I have recently come to the unfortunate conclusion that we might be completely screwed. I do not want to be cynical or pessimistic; I do not want us to become discouraged to the point of inaction. But I do wonder how we could possibly move forward from where we are now—how we can reckon with the impact of Donald Trump on our institutions and our political (and moral) culture and values.
Food service workers are only humans—not coffee robots
Working a customer service job, especially food service, is rough. However, those food service workers help our campus—and communities—run. College students basically survive on caffeine; we know our Starbucks workers are tired.
The SAVE Act: the newest development in Trump’s “papers, please” America
Last Wednesday, Feb. 11, the House of Representatives passed the “Safeguard American Voter Eligibility” or “SAVE” Act, an expansion of a previous (and less rigorous) SAVE Act introduced in 2024. Years of Trump’s election paranoia alleging widespread voter fraud have culminated in legislation proudly indulging the fantasy and turning congressional scrutiny against the people that gave them their jobs, rather than against a president who is constantly encroaching on their ability to perform them.
Why we need to care more about endangered species and environmental news
Lately, headlines have been dominated by concerning and vile news stories. While this news is severely important and action needs to be taken, it often seems that environmental news is left neglected by major news channels.
We should all like Valentine’s Day more
With the increase of fatigue towards the rampant commercialization that has begun to define American society, one holiday that gets a lot of negative attention is Valentine’s Day.
Don’t stay in a relationship of convenience
I know that the timing of this article feels inconvenient, given that, if you are reading this the day it was issued, tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. I am truly sorry, but I have seen and heard far too much, and I cannot hold back any longer. Some of you are in relationships that need to see their end immediately—in fact, they should have been over a long time ago. Let me elaborate.
Happy Black History Month!
It’s February again and that means that a month-long celebration of Black life and history is upon us! As folks across the nation commemorate the 100th anniversary of Black History Month, we here at The Lamron would like to share some of the history of the occasion and inform readers on how to get involved in activities on campus in the spirit of community, recognition, and ceremony.
Stop claiming education majors “do nothing”
For some reason, students studying various other majors believe that they are superior to those pursuing the field of education. As an English education major, I am often told that my major is “easy” or that I am working towards a job that I will eventually hate.
Meaningful queer media to watch
With the sudden popularity of the TV series Heated Rivalry (2025- ), I thought it would be appropriate to discuss a bit about queer media representation and the way we talk about TV shows and movies with queer characters—and what better time to do so than right around Valentine’s Day?
Unprecedented? Debates on historical parallels of the regime
If you have been paying attention (and I certainly hope you have), there is a good chance that you have noticed by now the overt, racially coded cruelty and systemic lack of accountability on the part of the Trump regime.
Geneseo dorm disasters
We thought, given our interactions with many of our peers, that it might be cathartic for all of us to get some collective complaining out of the way; therefore, what follows is a list of a few of the troubles we have experienced as we make our way around campus and settle in our cozy twin beds at the end of the day.
Thriftflation on the Internet
Usually, we think of buying secondhand as a way to save money. Clothes that look new are donated by charitable people (or people with too-full closets) and found by others at Goodwills, Amvets, and Savers across the country. But more and more people are taking advantage of online programs like Vinted and Depop to sell their clothes for a much higher price, no matter their condition.
Do we belong together?
On Jan. 15, pop icon Harry Styles announced his much-anticipated fourth studio album. Kiss All The Time, Disco Occasionally is set to release on Mar. 6, 2026, with the first single, “Aperture,” having been released on Jan. 23. With Styles’s almost four-year hiatus, rising popularity, and Ticketmaster, fans have been preparing for a war to obtain tickets.
Stop looking for an ideal victim
I assume that, if you have any online presence at all, you have heard the names Alex Pretti and Renee Good quite frequently in the past few weeks. It seems that, for many people, the murder of these individuals—both United States citizens with no criminal record—served as a wake-up call to the extreme violence and dehumanizing rhetoric of the Trump administration.
Brodie Hall is the best academic building on campus
At certain times of the day, you will hear music floating through the halls, but for the most part, Brodie is a quiet place to relax or do work. Its charm lies in its cozy study spots, natural lighting, vintage architecture, and artwork, such as the beautiful stained glass windows.
Donald Trump: Zohran Mamdani’s not-so-secret admirer
While in the past, it may have been routine for a president to hold a meeting with the upcoming mayor of one of the nation’s major cities, the tense political climate of today usually would not allow for a bipartisan meeting between two people who could reasonably be thought of as existing on opposite ends of the contentious political spectrum.
The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade never disappoints
On every Thanksgiving morning since 1924, the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade has taken over the streets of New York City with tens of thousands of people, floats, and performers to ring in the holiday.
Robert Irwin and Witney Carson take home the Len Goodman Mirrorball Trophy!
Dancing with the Stars (2005- ) celebrated their 20th season on air this past season. Fan favorite Robert Irwin took home the 20th anniversary Len Goodman Mirrorball Trophy alongside pro partner Witney Carson.
Finals week can be tough, but you are tougher
This winter season is so beautiful; the campus trees’ branches are graced with snow, holiday season cheer is spreading, everyone breaks out their warmest, comfiest sweaters… and prepares for finals.