We should all like Valentine’s Day more

Photo courtesy Fiona Murray/Pexels

Though it can be easy to hate Valentine’s Day when you are single, take this opportunity to instead practice love in your relationship to yourself and others.

With the increase of fatigue towards the rampant commercialization that has begun to define American society, one holiday that gets a lot of negative attention is Valentine’s Day. People will decry it as a simple opportunity for chocolatiers and florists and fancy restaurants to make money. Hating on Valentine’s Day has become a verbal shorthand for communicating that you think of yourself as above the silly traditions that the unintelligent and unfulfilled folk around you honor. In other words, many use a distaste for Valentine’s Day as a way to say “I am better than you.” 

This view is flawed in many ways. Of course, holidays in general are becoming more commercialized, especially those that include gifts, like Valentine’s, Christmas, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. But these other holidays receive much less hate. This is because of the concepts these different holidays are centered around, like warmth and joy on Christmas and loyalty and family for Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. The reason Valentine’s Day is the recipient of people’s frustrations about the commercialization of American life is that many people are under the false and limiting impression that Valentine's Day is only about romantic love, when in reality, Valentine’s Day should celebrate all love, whether romantic or not. 

Many of us have the shared experience of a class-wide Valentine’s Day exchange in elementary school. We have good memories of building our little mailbox, handing out little notes, and receiving the integral candy ration that had to last until Easter. Back then, even if we did not really understand it, we all liked Valentine’s Day. The pressures that we place on ourselves now weren't present, leaving us with the opportunity to show appreciation to our friends and feel appreciated ourselves. In our adult lives, it would enrich our experience of the holiday to go back to this celebration style. Valentine’s Day could be an amazing opportunity for brightness and love to be brought to the dead of winter—and it would serve to encourage the anti-Valentine’s crowd to enjoy the holiday in a way that they cannot now.

There are many reasons why a person would not be able to enjoy Valentine’s Day, and most of them are honestly sad. First, you could just not want to put in the effort for the people you love, and Valentine’s is a day where people would notice that lack of effort. You could be coming from a place of juvenile individualism and shunning the holiday because of the way you perceive others to celebrate it.

Or you could be lonely. Or single. Or too poor to afford expensive gifts or beautiful flowers. If more people begin to acknowledge Valentine’s as a day for all forms of love, the holiday could live to its fullest potential and be appreciated. If Valentine’s is about showing love to friends too, then it does not matter if you're single. If Valentine’s is about self-love, it doesn't matter if you're lonely. 

The elementary school model of Valentine’s being practiced nationwide would be able to combat isolation, depression, and loneliness. Think of how happy it makes you feel to receive a compliment from a stranger. Think of how it can make you smile to see someone do something nice for someone else. Now imagine that feeling multiplied over and over on a day dedicated to appreciating and loving everyone around you, from acquaintances to partners.