Ten ideologies to live by
Photo Courtesy of Alexa’s Fotos- Pexels
We all have our mottos. Having ideologies to fall back on in every day life is a great way to stay grounded.
As a young adult, a pre-law student, and a writer, I live a life jumping from deadline to deadline, plan to plan, and walking along a balance beam of feelings at all times. Between classes, friendships, assignments, and figuring out what I’m actually doing with my life, I’ve learned that sometimes the best advice does not come from a self-help book. Sometimes, it comes from a sentence someone said once that somehow stuck.
These are ten ideologies I have collected so far that I live by, and that I think may help some others out.
1. If they wanted to, they would. If they don’t, they won’t.
This one is brutally simple. People make time for the things and people they care about. That does not mean everyone has unlimited time or that every unanswered text is a personal attack, but effort is usually noticeable. If you constantly find yourself making excuses for someone else’s lack of effort, it might be time to stop making them.
2. If it’s not a little embarrassing, you’re not living.
I have spent far too much time worrying about looking stupid. It’s easy to dwell on your own disappointments. I have one piece of advice: don’t. Say something questionable. Wear the outfit. Go to the event alone. The occasional embarrassment is a small price to pay for actually experiencing your life. Weigh the pros and cons. Usually, it’s not as big of a deal as it seems.
3. If it feels like a bad idea, at least make it a good story.
Obviously, this is not an excuse to make genuinely terrible decisions. But sometimes we are so afraid of making the wrong choice that we make no choice at all. We end up in a standstill, and make no forward motion. Bad ideas inevitably lead to growth. Plus, if it goes horribly, at least you’ll have a story to tell.
4. Any essay is BS-able.
As a writer and student, I have learned that staring at a blank document for three hours does not make the document less blank. Sometimes you just have to start typing. The first draft does not have to be brilliant; it just has to exist. You can fix bad writing. You cannot edit an empty page.
5. Swag gaps are real and should be avoided.
I’ve experienced this many times in life. Swag isn’t just the clothes you wear, the music you listen to, or the interests you have. Swag is a lifestyle that I firmly believe in, and if you don’t mesh with someone, don’t push it. Your ways of life are your own, and no one should be forced to dial back or be stretched beyond their point of comfort just to get along with someone who isn’t on their wavelength.
6. Not every thought deserves a TED Talk.
Overthinkers, this one is for you: not every thought needs to be analyzed, explained, shared, or turned into a three hour conversation with your friends. Sometimes a thought is just a thought. Let it pass. Not everything needs to become a crisis.
7. Being busy is not the same as being productive.
Having twelve things on your to-do list does not mean you need to do all twelve today. Figure out what actually matters. Sometimes productivity means finishing an assignment; sometimes it means getting eight hours of sleep so you can function tomorrow.
8. If you keep lowering the bar, eventually you’re limboing through life.
Standards and boundaries exist for a reason. Whether it’s a friendship, relationship, job, or your own expectations for yourself, constantly accepting less than you deserve will eventually become your normal. Know what you are willing to accept—and what you are not. Even more, follow it. That’s not to say that you can’t let someone slide once in a while, but know where you stand.
9.You can miss someone and still know they shouldn’t be in your life.
Missing someone does not automatically mean you should reconnect with them. People can mean a lot to us and still not be good for our lives anymore. Reconnection can be beautiful, but sometimes peace comes from letting something remain in the past.
10. Don’t just be an attractive hat rack.
I picked up this phrase from my high school chorus teacher, who has the best stories I’ve ever heard. The basic essence of it is this: your appearance is not everything. One might think it is easier to say than follow, but it isn’t. Don’t sacrifice your physical, mental, or emotional health in order to conform to everyone else’s idea of how you should look and act. Allow yourself to have depth, and give yourself the rest you need.
I certainly do not have life figured out, and I won’t pretend to. I’m not sure anyone ever really does. But if I can keep collecting these little ideas that make the chaos a little easier to navigate and the hard moments a little easier to laugh at, I think I’ll be okay. And I hope everyone else will be, too. After all, if I’m not okay, at least I’ll probably have a good story to tell.