Ninjago (2001) is not a kids show
Photo courtesy of Lego/Wikimedia Commons
Do you all remember Ninjago (2011)? That LEGO show where the main characters spin around and create tornadoes that attack their enemies? Well, I sure do, and let me tell you that show is one of my favorites from my childhood. I have been on a Ninjago (2011) binge for the past three months, and so many good memories have come back. I feel like a little kid again, but Ninjago (2011) certainly hits different when you’re in college.
For anyone who has not seen Ninjago (2011), you should. You absolutely should! It’s got everything an adult show masquerading as a kids' show should have: magic, wizards, mutant snakes, ghosts, superpowers, dragons, demons, time travel, alternate dimensions, felony convictions, daddy issues, relationship issues, and just straight-up murder and slavery. I’m not kidding you, there are some serious crimes committed in this show that no one even bothers to talk about. Why is that? Is it because of the Legos that make everything look so innocent? When I am done here, innocent will not be the word you use to describe Ninjago (2011).
I should talk about the fact that this old man, Wu, goes out of his way to forcibly conscript a bunch of underage boys to fight for him. Not only that, he exposes the boys to deadly training scenarios and fails to call an ambulance or perform the necessary medical procedures. On top of that, Wu does not even bother contacting the boys’ parents to inform them of their whereabouts; he takes them with him under the pretense of “training” and “saving the world.” Throughout the show, the boys, who are now Ninjas, and Wu go on a bunch of adventures and fight a lot of different enemies, such as humanoid snakes, skeletons, robots, and ghosts. It has become a regular occurrence for the boys to get attacked by deadly weapons, imprisoned, kidnapped, and even tortured. This is child endangerment at its finest, but does Wu really care? Of course not! Remember, it is all part of “training” and “saving the world.”
It is worth noting that felonies and misdemeanors are committed year-round, and did I mention there are 18 seasons? I’m only going to go over the biggest crimes and then leave it to you to watch the full series.
I’m going to start off with Garmadon, the main character’s father, who functions as an overarching villain/anti-hero. His biggest goal is to commit genocide against the people of Ninjago, enslave the survivors, and transform the entire world into hell. Yikes. This dude tried to kill his own son, his brother, his wife, and the other Ninja on multiple occasions. He is directly responsible for the mass murder of innocent civilians and his own henchmen in seasons two, eight, and nine. No one is safe from this mofo. The first time he conquers Ninjago, he actually turns it into hell with dark magic that corrupts people’s souls. Then the second time he conquers Ninjago, he turns it into North Korea and has his followers imprison, torture, or kill anyone who shows even the slightest form of dissent.
Next up is the Overlord, basically Ninjago’s version of the devil, who, just like Garmadon, has genocide and terrorism at the top of his mind. Because he is the devil, kidnapping children, torturing children, mass murder, terrorism, crimes against humanity, conspiracy, gross negligence, inciting chaos, and brainwashing are to be expected. By the way, these are only SOME of the crimes he has committed. If a word count for this piece did not exist, I would talk about every felony and misdemeanor the Overlord committed. Just like Garmadon, he actually succeeds in conquering and enslaving Ninjago in seasons two and 15.
The fourth season is riddled with crimes that deserve some serious discussion. The Ninja, alongside other underage boys and girls, is lured to an island run by a rich, old, and creepy restaurant owner named Chen, who has them fight each other in a tournament. The winner would supposedly get everyone’s combined superpowers and a lifetime supply of Chinese food. Now, that is a great way to get kids to come to your island, but what Chen does not tell the contestants is that the losers are then imprisoned, tortured, and then enslaved in an underground noodle factory where any form of dissent is met with even more torture. Again, all of this is happening to minors, on an old guy’s private island. I don’t know man, this old dude made of Legos is beginning to remind me of someone else with his own private island.
In the sixth season, a 4,000-year-old Djinn named Nadakhan attempts to marry the underage sister of one of the ninjas, whose name is Nya, in order to become omnipotent. I know, that makes absolutely zero sense, but you could say that about the show in general. This dude is perhaps Ninjago’s biggest predator. He tries to kiss Nya multiple times forcibly, coerces and gaslights her into accepting her place as his wife, mentally and physically tortures everyone who opposes him, and then traps them in his magic sword. Oh, and if you think Nadakhan respects boundaries, he does not: bro actually pulled a gun on Nya when she started getting uncomfortable, and then brainwashed her to become the woman Nadakhan wanted her to be.
This is only scratching the surface; every character in Ninjago (2011) would be given a life-or-death sentence for the shit they have done. Even the Ninja should be tried for breaking out their friends from prison, or stealing artifacts from a police convoy while concealing their identities and framing a rival group. However, that will never happen because the Ninja control the cops and do whatever the fuck they want! If you want to see more felonies and crimes against humanity, I highly recommend you binge the whole series! I believe every episode is on Netflix now!