Sports
The NORMAL is The Lamron’s April Fools Edition of its weekly newspaper. Please keep in mind that all NORMAL articles are satire*.
* While The Lamron encourages discussion, all comments that include harassment or any sort of hate speech will be deleted promptly.
Sabres to continue ice-cold streak this season
As the NHL preseason continues, there is speculation as to how the season will go—will the Avalanche defend their title? Will Auston Matthews have another historic year? And perhaps the most rhetorical question: Will the Sabres have another disappointing season? While it is never good to assume, expecting the Sabres to have a bad season is a pretty safe bet.
Bills return to form in week four, taking down Ravens
The Bills looked to bounce back in week four after their first loss of the season against the Dolphins. The team looked as though they had a chance to start their season 3-0 towards the end of the game last week, but frustrations ran wild as poor clock management spoiled the opportunity. The team was set to play the Baltimore Ravens, who were sitting at 2-1 on the year and coming off of a win against the ever-struggling New England Patriots. Notable inactives for week four included defensive tackle Ed Oliver (ankle), DT Jordan Phillips (hamstring), and wide receiver Jake Kumerow (ankle). Star safety Jordan Poyer (foot) and cornerback Dane Jackson (neck), who suffered a horrific injury in week two, were back in the starting lineup for Buffalo.
Men’s Ultimate Frisbee starts strong in first tournament of the season
SUNY Geneseo Men’s Club Ultimate Frisbee (Snail) competed in their first matches of the season this past weekend, traveling to Youngstown, NY for the Theodore Seuss Geisel Memorial Ultimate tournament. Snail divided their team into two sections, X and Y, in order for each player to make the most of the experience. The two teams were able to enjoy the outstanding culture of the sport with other local teams looking to do the same.
Jets continue to disappoint New York with yet another slow start
Roll the clock back to the 2010 NFL season, and you will see the New York Jets’ last playoff appearance—not only was it the Jets’ most recent last playoff game, it was also the beginning to the longest active playoff drought in the NFL. When a team has only one winning season in the last decade, something is clearly wrong. It can be quite difficult to place your finger on the problem when the team is so underwhelming, but, in the case of the Jets, the front office is the culprit.
Club Softball battles against U of R in first game series of the semester
Geneseo’s Club Softball game team took the field for the first time this semester against the University of Rochester on Saturday Sept. 24. The team competed in a hard-fought triple header, ready to reclaim a win after two losses to the U of R Stingers in the cold Apr. weather last semester. With an expanded e-board and a brand-new game team compiled including strong returners and promising new players, the team put a newfound pressure on the Stingers, and ended the day winning one of the three total games played.
Bills fall to Dolphins in first loss of the season
The Bills have been dominant throughout the first two weeks of their season, tearing apart last year’s Super Bowl Champions THE Los Angeles Rams and American Football Conference (AFC) #1 seed Tennessee Titans. Buffalo went into Sunday’s matchup against the Miami Dolphins looking to begin their season 3-0 with their first division win of the year. Miami had done well for themselves as well so far, coming off of a hard-fought victory against the Baltimore Ravens and also sitting at 2-0 for the season. But Injuries took a toll on Buffalo last week, as notable inactives for week three included starters defensive tackle Ed Oliver (ankle), safety Jordan Poyer (foot), cornerback Dane Jackson (neck), and defensive tackle Jordan Phillips (hamstring). Safety Micah Hyde has also been ruled out for the season with a neck injury, a huge blow to the Bills’ defense.
Women’s Rugby is off to a confident start in their fall season
On Saturday, Sept. 24, The Geneseo Women’s Rugby team had their home opening game against Buffalo State. Although this was a non-league match, the Warthogs put their hearts on the field and played an amazing game.
Geneseo volleyball put on stunning performance at RIT Invitational
The Geneseo women’s volleyball team won three of their four matches at the RIT Invitational last week. After a 0-3 loss early Friday evening, the team bounced back and defeated Nazareth three sets to nil just a few hours later. The momentum carried over into Saturday as they bested RIT 3-1, and pummeled Lasell University 3-0 shortly after.
Women’s tennis dominates at St. Lawrence Invitational with new coach
The Geneseo women’s tennis team welcomed new head coach Alan Heverly at the start of this season. Previously, Heverly was an assistant tennis coach at Lehigh University, an NCAA Division I college in Pennsylvania. Following his time at Lehigh, Heverly became the head coach of both the men’s and women’s teams at Moravian University (Division III). With numerous accolades under his belt, Heverly seems like a great fit at Geneseo, and will hopefully continue his successes with the Knights.
Bills trounce Titans on Monday Night Football, improve to 2-0
The Bills lived up to fans’ high expectations in week one against the Los Angeles Rams, as an away win against these defending champions is no small feat. Buffalo looked to pick up where they left off in their season opener against the Tennessee Titans. The Titans came into week two looking to turn their season around having lost their first matchup against the consistently below-average New York Giants. Notable inactive players for the Bills included defensive tackle Ed Oliver and wide receiver Gabe Davis, both of whom are dealing with ankle issues.
How Jake Paul is killing a sport that is already dead
In the ultimate attempt to make money, non-boxers are getting in the ring simply because they can. While it makes sense to see former star athletes such as football player Adrian Peterson put the gloves on and step in the ring, the real problems are the internet personalities: specifically, that of Jake Paul.
Men’s rugby displays strong start to their fall season at LeMoyne
Last Sunday, the Geneseo Men’s Rugby team traveled to LeMoyne College in Syracuse for their first league match of the season. The Warthogs are back in the regular 15s season as members of the Lake Effect Rugby Conference, putting them up against Buffalo State, Ithaca College, University of Rochester, Niagara University, and the newest edition to the conference, LeMoyne College.
Cross Country continues solid performances at invitationals this past week
The SUNY Geneseo men’s and women’s cross-country teams each competed in two invitationals this past week, garnering positive results. On Friday, Sept. 16, the teams traveled to East Lansing, Michigan to compete at the Spartan Invitational, an event put on by BIG10 school Michigan State University.
Is the LIV tour good for golf?
The controversial, Saudi-backed LIV (Roman numerals for fifty-four) Golf Tour played its first tournament on Jun. 9, 2022. The tournament was held in Hertfordshire, England and officially brought about a legitimate competition to contend with the long-standing PGA. However, with many of the globally ranked, top-100 players in golf already having signed up for and competed in this new upstart, things are becoming more unclear. Is the PGA outdated and thus vulnerable enough to be overtaken by this exciting new tour?
Bills trample Rams as Allen shines in season opener
The Buffalo Bills took on the defending Super Bowl champion Los Angeles Rams in Los Angeles on Thursday, Sept. 8, attempting to prove that the team finally has what it takes to make it to their first National Football League championship. A major concern before the game was how Quarterback Josh Allen and the rest of the offense would fare under their new offensive coordinator, Ken Dorsey. The team saw multiple years of playoff success under the lead of former OC Brian Daboll, who left the team during the offseason to try and turn around the ever-struggling New York Giants as their new head coach.
Rochester Redwings continue streak of hilariously poor performance
For many people who grew up in the Rochester area, the Red Wings have been a staple of the culture. Allowing young local teams to run the bases and be great entertainment for a family night out made the Rochester Red Wings iconic. While the mascot antics are fun for everyone, the team itself has been beyond underwhelming for nearly a decade now. Winning seasons have become less and less common, and they have been by small margins as of late.
As Yankees struggle, Aaron Judge inches closer to home run record
Being a Yankee fan has not been easy over the past two months; the team started the season on top, going 56-21 from April to June—on pace for 118 wins, which would break the all-time record for wins in a single season. It seemed like this was finally the year that the Yankees would get back to the World Series, a height they have not reached since 2009.
Men’s soccer avenges Geneseo against RIT after women’s prior loss
The Geneseo Men’s Soccer team came back for blood hosting the Rochester Institute of Technology (RIT) on Saturday, Sept. 10, defeating the Tigers 2-1. The men’s team win comes after a tough loss to RIT by the women’s soccer team on Sept. 7.
Women’s ultimate frisbee conquers Metro East regional competition for bid to nationals
This week SUNY Geneseo’s Women’s Club Ultimate Frisbee Team (Escargot), led by senior team captains Allie Judge, Katey Church, and Katherine Arriaga, took on the Metro East Regional tournament in Fort Ann, NY. Escargot headed into the tournament looking for one out of the two available national bids among the eight competing Division III Women’s teams. This was the first time since the program began that the women’s team had a chance to qualify for the national tournament. Escargot was ranked first going into the tournament, and knew they had a shot at making organization history.
Women’s softball clinches SUNYAC regular season title with weekend wins
The Geneseo’s women’s softball team won three of the four games they played this past weekend, including back-to-back double headers at Cortland and Oswego on Friday and Saturday, respectively. Their first win of the weekend against Cortland assured the regular season SUNYAC title, giving them the top seed in the SUNYAC regular season standings and the right to host this week’s SUNYAC tournament.