Who cares if men like matcha and Clairo?
Photo courtesy of Haberdoedas Photography/Wikimedia Commons
Recently, I have been witness to an increase in online discourse surrounding so-called “performative men.” If you exist in these online spaces, I am sure you know what I am talking about; these are men who drink iced matcha, listen to Clairo, and avidly read feminist literature (you will never catch them in a public space without a book in hand). They wear baggy jeans, carry tote bags, and will tell you all about their collection of vinyl records or their latest therapy session.
These men are often criticized for being—as the term implies—performative, in that they only adopt these aesthetics, practices, and ideas, for the purpose of appealing to women. They are seen as inauthentic and potentially even manipulative.
Personally, I could not care less about whether or not these men genuinely enjoy Sylvia Plath’s Bell Jar or the iced drink in their hands. In an environment that is becoming increasingly conservative, and increasingly hostile toward women, young men are at risk of falling down an alt-right pipeline; their social media feeds may become inundated with figures like Andrew Tate (self-proclaimed misogynist) or Nick Fuentes (a white nationalist), among others.
Young men are frequently being told that they are victims of a society that hates them and blames them for things that are not their fault; they are bombarded with messages trying to convince them that they need to reclaim their masculinity and gain control over themselves, and subsequently, the women in their lives. These messages may be played off as “motivational self-help” or even placed under the umbrella of “traditional values,” but it is clear to many of us that this is coded language for a movement that ultimately seeks to uphold patriarchy and white supremacy. Those motives have become even more blatant recently, as these people feel more and more comfortable expressing their hatred in the current political and social climate.
If a man chooses to pursue the aesthetic of a “performative man,” while embracing the progressive ideology that often accompanies it, that is one more man who has not bought into the aforementioned toxic and dangerous ideologies. That is not to say that these men will not say or do things that reflect misogynistic ideas—it is not even to say that they will never harm the women in their lives. Nonetheless, one more man who does not openly call for a return to tradition—i.e., the oppression of women and their relegation to the home—is a win in my eyes.
Additionally, I believe that much of the media surrounding “performative men” verges on problematic, in that it is critical of men who do not conform to traditional ideas of masculinity. Those divergences from expectations—even if they feel inauthentic or consumerist—should not be discouraged, especially because we truly have no way of judging or measuring if that expression is authentic.
Generally speaking, I do not think this criticism of “performative men” is meant to be anything other than a funny observation of a certain type of man we frequently encounter. Like any other internet trend, I don’t think the people involved in it are attempting to engage in anything harmful—nor do I necessarily think it has been harmful on any large scale. Nonetheless, I do think that it is important for all of us to watch our language, lest we promote the very gendered structures and stereotypes we (as in, progressive feminists) seek to deconstruct.