If you care enough, you can always make time
Stop pretending like you’re too busy to do anything
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Like many Geneseo students, I find my schedule to be constantly full of club meetings, executive board duties, part time jobs, sorority events, hangouts with friends, and of course homework. Yet on top of this I still make time to hang out with my roommates, friends, boyfriend, and family members. My message to those saying they don’t have time to hang out with their friends because of a busy schedule is simple: if you cared enough about spending time with people, you would find the time.
I first began thinking of this because of the classic quote applied to people in romantic relationships—“if they wanted to, they would”—but I think it spreads to platonic relationships as well. Spending time together is one of the most important ways to show that you care.
Obviously, this does not mean that you need to be rearranging your schedule around your friends so you can be with them at all times. It’s about communicating when you have free time in your day to others, getting homework done ahead of time, planning ahead in your schedule, and so many other things that you can do to ensure that you have time for your loved ones.
I guarantee that there is a significant portion of students on campus balancing multiple commitments and responsibilities; it’s just not a valid excuse to use anymore. It’s an excuse that I hear constantly from other students when talking about spending quality time with their friends, yet they magically have time to go party at the frats with strangers or spend hours scrolling on TikTok.
I love doomscrolling on social media as much as the next person, but when I haven’t seen some of my friends in a while, I’d much rather spend time with them instead. If you find yourself feeling too tired to make plans or just too lazy to put in effort, maybe you need to reevaluate your friends and figure out if you even enjoy spending time with the people you call friends.
Are you simply becoming friends with people out of convenience, but don’t want to put in effort when it’s not convenient for you anymore? Maybe you have a friend who’s in the same major as you and can help you study, but if you don’t have a test coming up, you don’t bother seeing them. Or someone that you got very close to because they lived down the hall from you last year and you’d share clothes, but now that you can’t borrow anything from them—there is no point in hanging out.
You should be friends with people because you genuinely enjoy spending time with them and because they make your life better, and you do the same for them. If you don’t actually want to put in the effort to see them, you’re simply not as close as you may think. This applies to all friendships, not just best friends. You may see one of your friends only once every two weeks, but if you are not continuing to plan these bi-weekly hangouts ahead of time, you don’t care enough to be friends with them at all.
It’s disrespectful to your friends, who are also likely busy students, to pretend like you have more important things to do than create lasting friendships. At the end of the day, we are just college students. With a handful of exceptions, nothing you are doing is actually that important. Stop pretending to be busier and better than everyone else, and just admit you don’t actually like your friends.