5 things to know when you lose a pet
Photo Courtesy of Shannon Murphy
People with pets know: despite the difference in species, our furry friends are members of our family. Nothing brings comfort quite like quality time with your pet. This past week, my beloved cat Noel was put to sleep. My entire family was there, holding her, petting her, and making sure the last thing she knew was love. And after 14 years with her, there was a lot of love to give her, as well as tears to shed. I cannot remember my life before Noel, and I’ve never known the loss of a pet before. As I deal with her loss, here are some things I will be keeping in mind, and I hope this list can help anyone else dealing with a similar event.
Your pet is no longer in pain.
Many older animals slow down and develop issues like arthritis. Noel had trouble going up the stairs and jumping up on the couch. It’s comforting to think that now she’s running around a greener pasture.
2. You’ll always have the memories you shared.
When I was in elementary school, I would get off the bus every day and climb the big tree in my front yard. One day, after cautiously sniffing the trunk, Noel scampered up there and began to play in the branches with me. Focusing on this happy memory, and ones like it, can give a sense of peace when everything else feels confusing.
3. The immediate hurt when you learn the news won’t last forever.
When I first learned that my cat was dying, I cried so much I thought I would be crying for the rest of my life. It’s normal to feel deeply upset after news like that, and it’s also normal for the pain to ease with time. Even after just a couple days, you may not miss your pet any less, but the grief becomes easier to cope with.
4. Even if you want to, you cannot wallow forever.
I skipped class the day after Noel passed, and it was very tempting to skip again the day after. But even though my cat had no concept of what college was, I knew she loved me, and I knew that if she could want anything concerning the matter, that she wouldn’t want me to jeopardize my success in my grief for her. Also, having some kind of routine can keep you distracted, productive, and help the pain pass quicker.
5. You can always ask for help from those you love.
Noel was a family cat, and my whole family loved her just as much as I did. Being together during her final moments made it feel a little bit easier. And after the fact, we’re able to share pictures and memories when missing her is too much. Even if your pet was yours alone, there’s a good chance that the people you love were also fond of them, and even just having some company through the difficult time can make things feel a little easier.
In the end, there are no clear solutions that will make the pain of losing a pet go away. But keeping these things in mind can ease the mind during a confusing time. The hardship of a pet dying cannot be minimized, even when the type of grief is different from when you lose a human friend. Even with this, there will always be a light at the end of the tunnel, and the pain can always be soothed.