Long Distance Relationships: Getting in touch with yourself

Being miles away from your significant other during college years can be a truly agonizing experience. Whether you’re studying abroad for a semester or you’re at a different university than your boyfriend/girlfriend, the miles aren’t what matter––it’s the physical and emotional distance. So what do you do? Do you give up your relationship for a one-night stand with someone you met at The Statesmen or do you just enjoy the time with yourself? According to research from the June 2013 Journal of Communication, up to 75 percent of college students have engaged in a long-distance relationship at some point. That means that up to 75 percent of students have possibly been masturbating in lieu of not having their significant other around.

The longing for physical connectedness when you know you are already committed to another person can be very tricky, especially when masturbation is a “hush-hush” topic. Sexuality educator Charlie Glickman expressed that masturbation “lets you take control of your satisfaction,” and “it also gives you room to try new things without stressing about a partner’s expectations.”

Masturbation is a known stress-reliever as well as a natural sleeping pill. So when you’re pleasuring yourself, you’re actually doing something good for your body, not to mention your mind.

You may ask yourself, “How will I ever feel the same sensation without another person?” First off, you have to get yourself into the right mind set. A good place to start is to put on some mood music––try John Mayer’s “Your Body Is a Wonderland” or maybe even some Beethoven; whatever turns you on. You can also make yourself feel sexy by putting on your favorite pair of undergarments and lighting some candles. As Aziz Ansari would say, “Treat yo self.”

Remember that touching yourself is all about you and gives you the freedom of not having to worry about pleasuring your partner. With that being said, imagine a seductive scene with whatever and whomever your fantasy involves. Let the scene fully develop. I remind you again, no one is watching or reading your mind—this is all for you. If pornography aids you in this journey of finding a sexy fantasy, feel free. Sex actors are paid for a reason.

Massage yourself in places you normally wouldn’t. Foreplay is just as important while touching yourself as it is when you are about to “do the dirty.” Don’t just stay in one position either. How often during sex do you change positions? Variety is key. Oftentimes, women will stop masturbating before they have reached a climax because of the monotony of the action.

So when you find yourself alone at home or in a dorm room, use that time to get in touch with your inner sexpot. If you can’t turn yourself on, who can? And if you don’t know what makes you go crazy, how is anyone else supposed to find out? Get creative with it. Take a night to stay in instead of going to that party where that cute guy or girl that sometimes flirts with you is going to be. The mistake of sleeping with someone that is not your significant other can ruin your long-distance trust and relationship.