What happens when the dude you want to be with is flirtatious, but is hooking up with someone else? Is it a dangerous move to pursue a guy from my class at the bar? What do I do after I find out how stupid a guy is after a short exchange? These are only a few of the questions that are intertwined with the topic of men. Although many people will disagree with me when I say this – and I respect their opinion – I believe that some men can be more complicated than women, largely because they feel pressured by masculine stereotypes.
Girls tend to be more vocal about their feelings, needs and wants. Men, on the other hand, try to hide anything remotely emotional inside a sort of “man box” that dictates what a man should be in the eyes of the public, a constraint that can be suffocating.
Don’t cry, don’t share your feelings, always be ready to have sex, play a lot of sports – in the subconscious and conscious minds of society this is how a man should behave, and guys tend to try and emulate this perception as well as they can. This behavior can be confusing to girls; we have all had those late-night talks with our girlfriends wondering for hours if the little things that guys do are any sign of their deeper feelings for us.
Ladies (and gentlemen), in my opinion the most important thing to remember when pursuing a man is don’t chase after him. A good friend of mine always says, “Don’t cross an ocean for someone who won’t cross a puddle for you.”
Is a guy flirting with you, but hooking up with somebody else on the side? Drop him! Don’t give him the impression that your attention is abundant; let him do his own thing with this other person. If you still want to wait for him that’s fine, but go out and enjoy yourself! Meet other people; talk to other guys that interest you. You never know; you might find somebody you like more.
There is no harm in approaching that cutie from your biology class at the bar. The worst possibility is that he turns you down. You won’t blow up if that happens and it gives you another chance of getting out there and playing the field.
If you find yourself in a boring conversation with somebody you aren’t interested in mentally, then look at them physically. It really depends on what you are looking for.
If you’re looking for the man of your dreams, then I suggest you bid this rebel rouser farewell and try to find somebody more suitable for your taste. If what you are looking for is a casual hook up, then who really cares if the kid can’t hold a conversation? He isn’t going to be talking for long! In the end, don’t lose sleep over whether or not somebody likes you – male or female.
I will leave you with this: College isn’t about falling in love with somebody else or trying to hook up with a lot of people. In my opinion, college is about falling in love with yourself – this means finding out what you dislike and what your opinions are and maybe re-evaluating your morals. College is about exploring who you are and building on the person you see yourself being.