Incidental Amusements

It began Sept. 27 when Geneseo experienced a most wonderful time of the year. Main Street was absurdly crowded and you saw people over the age of 25 frolicking around campus – people who aren’t your professors, employers or President Christopher Dahl. I am speaking, of course, about Homecoming Weekend. Unfortunately, Homecoming Weekend is just a regular weekend for my circle of friends, confidants and random acquaintances. The only thing that is different is that the lines at off-campus eateries are just as long as the line for Lotus at Fusion Market.

You would think that I, as a junior, have ties to at least some of the 2013 graduates. This is a true statement, but I know only one alumna who fits that description and also participated in homecoming. Most of the other alumni are busy, ya know, being back at home, which is where I would like to be right now.

The alumni that do come to visit, however, typically have ties to an organization or sports team. Or they donate a boatload of money to the college and like to make an appearance now and then. I’m not saying that any of these ties are negative – their money and time are surely improving my life as a Geneseo student with every passing day.

Another reason these people with time and money come back to campus is to “connect with students” and to do this thing called networking. Have there been students who successfully met alumni that eventually pave the path for their future? Absolutely. Have I been as successful? Not quite. As an undergrad with social quirks, trying to talk to a bunch of fancy alumni all in the same room literally has me riding the struggle bus.

Let’s talk about the children of the alumni for a second. It’s like they bring those chubby little thunder thighs as a ploy to get undergrads to talk to them: “Oh yes, we did make undeniably cute children … want to ask us all about them?” Does it work? My maternal instincts can probably answer that for me, but my social fears totally try to deny it.

As I nag about the tidal wave of alumni that come to visit each semester, I also must realize that I will be an alumna in just a few semesters. Will I come back to visit? Well that depends: Will I have money to pay for gas and food or even for an endowment for a scholarship? Will I have underclassmen friends that can house me for free? Will I have undeniably cute children to use as a conversation starter? Maybe if the alumni now can help me achieve these things, then I’ll be gracing my presence across the whole valley