Incidental Amusements

There is one thing that always annoys me, interrupting my walks around campus. It’s not the students who walk too slow or even those who stop to stare at the wildlife as if they’d never seen a squirrel before. It’s this wacky “Humans vs. Zombies” campus affliction. 

You can identify a Humans vs. Zombies player by the orange bandanas they wear: headbands for zombies and armbands for humans. The zombies attack the humans with the intent of infecting them and turning them into zombies. The humans have Nerf guns they can shoot the zombies with to protect themselves. Yes, this is all as bizarre as it sounds.

You know when you watch a TV show, and it’s so embarrassing to watch that you have to look away? That can sometimes be Humans vs. Zombies. Every time I see a human shoot a zombie in the face with a Nerf gun or see a zombie try to attack a human, but then trip and fall on them, I wince. I can’t help it, and yet I frustratingly can’t escape the sight of it.

This isn’t even taking into account the inherent absurdity of it all. I’m all for quirky hobbies, doing your own thing and marching to the beat of your own drum, but please keep it out of the public space. If I have to take a different route around campus than my usual one because I don’t want to get hit by a barrage of Nerf gun darts, there might be some sort of problem.

I propose all those who wish to play this game just book the Kuhl Gymnasium one Sunday night, so they can all run around shooting and attacking each other in a safe space. This way, they can get these urges out of their system quickly and easily. Also, it has the added benefit of me not having to witness this oftentimes-maddening game. 

This shouldn’t be read as an indictment of the game. I support the right of the Humans vs. Zombies players to play the game how they see fit. Maybe I just don’t “get” it. Maybe I’m missing out when I could be having a lot of fun. Still, from the perspective of the nonplayer, Humans vs. Zombies is a casual campus annoyance we all might be better off without.