Williams: Spitting is so 10,000 B.C.

Something on campus is bothering me. It's just as uncomfortable as a Humans vs. Zombies altercation and even more confusing than those girls who walk around in booty shorts and fuzzy Uggs. Most of all, spitting is disgusting.

I may be overreacting, but I absolutely do not understand why people think it is necessary, socially acceptable or sanitary to violently and often loudly expel the foul contents of one's throat in public on public property.

I get that this has been happening forever. Woolly mammoth hunting, Wild West spittoons, baseball - macho dudes and phlegm are pretty much inseparable in the history of human development. Is it too idealistic of me to expect college-educated individuals to act any differently? Apparently, that answer is a resounding yes.

Why? First of all, unless I'm really out of it, this school lacks cavemen, spittoons and excessive amounts of chewing tobacco. Second, no normal human should be generating enough snot and spit to necessitate a massive loogie after every class. If you are, seek medical attention; we have antibiotics for that kind of thing now. Third, we live on a beautiful campus. Why in the world would anyone go out of the way to deface it? Do sunsets make you angry? Are the trees really that disrespectful? Either appreciate it or go somewhere ugly, please.

I can only think of two reasons one would spit on campus, or in public at all (I know that spitting is respectful in some cultures but unless Geneseo has really, really worked on expanding student diversity, that doesn't count). First, if you're literally running around. Exercise generates a whole bunch of gross body fluids and if you're on the grass and relatively alone, it might be OK to spit.

The other option is that you think it's really cool and manly to spit wads of nasty everywhere you go. If this is true, you might have some deeper issues. It's a disgusting and unattractive habit that is not appealing to any sort of employer or potential mate. I have seen about as many people spew in professional situations as I have talked to girls who gauge their boyfriends by impressive spitwad size.

Finally, and most importantly, spitting is a public health issue. I don't understand how people can be proactive in preventing the flu and simultaneously accepting of spitting. If I stood outside Mary Jemison Dining Hall and coughed and sneezed into the open air I would be ostracized, but people who walk around spitting are overlooked. Innocent immune systems don't deserve your salivary pathogen siege.

The solution to this problem involves some pretty cutting-edge technology. Sometimes, stores sell these things called tissues. You can put all of your gross germs into them and then - this is the crazy part - throw it away! I know that they might be a bit much for all of you who still think it's okay to spit in public, but I'm sure you can get the hang of it if you keep trying.