So when exactly does hooking up develop into a relationship?
We've all been there. You meet a girl at the Inn Between, you're dancing, you're probably drinking. One of you goes back to the other's room, great things happen that can't be mentioned in a family newspaper (it has a wife and baby newspapers at home), you decide it was fun and you'll continue doing these things.
And then one day, you're sitting around together, possibly watching a movie and you realize there's nobody else there. It's just the two of you, spending time together and - this is very important - not boning. Congratulations, you may have caught a case of relationship.
It may come as a shock and usually does. Men tend to resent the realization and, at least in my case, try to ignore and deny it til they die. Usually this is a fine remedy for relationship-itis, as it makes the girl realize what a colossal jerk you are.
In the case that you're not like me and therefore not a jerk, you have one of two options, guys: Just sort of ignore the relatively obvious change in situation, go on as you were and see where it goes. This tends to work for about a week. The other option is to ask this girl out, get all official and put the news on Facebook. Prepare for a lot of "OMG fo' realz?" and "WTF, why?" This is normal. Your friends suck and want to make fun of you. When the first caveman got into a relationship, his friends probably bashed him about the head with a club. Things have improved.
Anyway, to recap: If you're sleeping with someone and that eventually transmutes into hanging out, then you're probably in a relationship and legally obligated to care about how her day was.
Until next time, good luck, men. I'm pulling for you.
Continuous hook-ups in college are never uncomplicated things. We live here; we have the option to literally see someone 24/7. So, when does this "simple" act of hooking up turn into something more?
For most girls, I've found that they think these flings go beyond a hook-up when they start just hanging out with their partner, instead of only seeing each other to get some action. It's when you get into that dangerous "friends with benefits" zone that things become more complex.
It doesn't help that girls are naturally jealous people. I might be stereotyping, but I can assure you that if one girl sees the guy she's been hooking up with leave the bar with someone else - regardless of whether or not they're actually dating - things are not going to go over easily. We're territorial creatures, we like to have possession; something that's not generally included in a casual hook-up relationship.
So, here's my take on things: You're not official unless you've verbally established that you are. It doesn't matter if you cook him dinner and do his laundry and sleep there soberly on a Monday night after studying. Until you've officially established something, you both have free reign.
Clearly, if you haven't taken the step to talk about these things, you're not ready to be something more than just hooking up. So, when he does leave with that other girl at the bar, you really don't have a right to be jealous.
Don't get me wrong; casual flings can be great. We're in college, we're here to try new things. Go for it. But know where each other stand on everything, and the only way to do that is with actual conversations. Actions alone won't suffice.
So, when does hooking up become a relationship? Whenever you say so, dear.