Incidental Amusements

New York was rocked by a sporting event, bringing home an important win. No, it's not the World Series, which I didn't watch, it was the New York City marathon.

That's right, the New York City marathon: the oddly distanced lemming-like exodus of people who are too scared to take the damn subway. But there are other marathons, and they impact us much more.

I, for instance, partake in a nine-hour "Law & Order" marathon every Tuesday. The key is to stretch first. Some people may think that sitting on one's butt for that long is unhealthy, but I don't find it any unhealthier than running an actual marathon. Not only does that cause massive joint damage, but I don't think its safe to drink random unmarked cups handed out by strangers on the streets of Manhattan. That is the leading cause of being splashed in the face with little cups of urine.

When you get right down to it, all sports seem kind of silly and unnecessary, whether it's running around Midtown for 26.2 miles or trying to get a little rubber puck into a nylon net (hint: the shortest distance between them would be back in Hong Kong where they were made).

I really can't say that "Law & Order" marathons are any less of a sport than those. Maybe I should start my own league. I'll pitch the idea around and see if Trojan or Clorox want to be my first sponsors. I'm not wildly optimistic, but that's what they said about the XFL. Perhaps it's not the best example, but if Geneseo can have a Quidditch team, I don't see why we can't have one for SVU marathons.