Let it be known: I have loved my experience at Geneseo more than words can express, and I would only express my most positive biases to any prospective students.
But just as our most beloved celebrities are the ones we must roast, it's time to put Geneseo in the hot seat for flaws, faults and follies that have irked me through my college career.
This one's for the insiders. To the few readers who might be able to pull some strings or who will at least be comforted in knowing they aren't alone in their pet peeves, I offer these 20 grievances in random order:
I don't like Mia's cutting back their closing time by one hour each semester - what kind of pizzeria stops serving fresh slices before 3 a.m. on Monday?
I don't like MJ closing at 4 p.m. instead of 5, robbing us all of our last chance to have a decent, albeit early, dinner on campus.
I don't like people who smuggle fifty cent cans of Keystone Lights into the I.B. on quarters night.
I don't like campus liberals who are campus liberals for the sake of being campus liberals.
I don't like the Greek community on the night of final bids.
I don't like having a homecoming without a football team.
I don't like whatever amount of money was spent on the hand scanner in the workout center that could have been spent on improved workout equipment for the same price.
I don't like the portion of our dining budget that goes to the cheap silverware they assume we'll steal, while having to leave my backpack at the bottom of Letch for anyone to swipe.
I don't like seeing my extra meal points go to waste at the end of each semester, either to a binge of water bottles and quesadillas or to the abyss of CAS pockets.
I don't like having to jam my thumb into the vending machines three consecutive times before they choose to vend.
I don't like the search engine on Geneseo.edu.
I don't like the way I see CAS employees being treated by their managers from time to time; especially because I like the way these employees treat me and other students without exception.
I don't like the locks in the mailroom that have the opposite combination pattern from every other combo lock on Earth.
I don't like students with a bad attitude toward the administration - especially those who have never gotten to know how friendly, hard-working and committed most of these people are.
I don't like professors who preach open-mindedness but dictate a single school of thought.
I don't like classes that are canceled with a note on the door instead of an e-mail.
I don't like pseudo-couples who use common rooms and study lounges to fight and break up.
I don't like the fact that snow plows clear the parking lots but not the parking spaces. I don't like Geneseo parking in general, but I wrote another article about that yet unresolved issue long ago.
I don't like that campus parking meters only accept quarters.
I don't like that half the outdoor stairs on campus are blocked by chains "For Your Safety," thus doubling the traffic and probably the likelihood of an accident.
Dan Skahen is a senior communications major who also dislikes excessively negative people.