It's nice to see everyone in such good spirits after the Democratic success in the elections last Tuesday. I'm hopeful, however, that while we were all so focused on the national scene we did not neglect our own campus. It seems that we, students, are priority number two. Some more jaded individuals might suggest that we rank even lower, I, however, continue to be optimistic.
The number one priority in the board room these days is collegiality. Yes, it's so hot it's practically on fire. And who can blame anyone for swooning at the idea of embracing collegiality? After all, it's not often that such a cool idea comes along. It's an idea that's not only easy to swallow but also goes down well with beer. Collegiality is the star of the show, the belle of the ball, the A-Rod who wandered into a little league game and some how was mistaken for a 10-year-old.
I'm a hip guy who is open to new experiences, and I think I have a pretty good grasp of new "popular" trends. I am no fool and I see what is coming and I certainly don't want to be caught unprepared. As such I hereby suggest that a group be started. I would like to call it is the "Polite Club." If I were to start such a club I would most likely invite all the most intelligent and respectable people I could find and gather them all in one place. Whatever place this is doesn't matter, as long as it can accommodate and attract the interest of these various individuals. Once these people showed up, however, I would indicate to them that my ultimate goal was to foster a creative environment to promote the development of the minds of all those who enter.
Before allowing them to enter, however. I would demand that they agree to abide by certain rules. Such rules would include a prohibition against any offensive language or any kind of rude behavior to anyone or anything (whether intended or not). I would advise my welcomed guests that before they say anything that may or may not be controversial they should preface it by saying, "Now I'm not a (insert racist, sexist, anti-Semite, terrorist, homophobe, neoconservative, religious fanatic xenophobe, etc.) I would also insist that my Club members agree to schedule any activity that has any controversial overtones with me to make sure that no person or groups of person are offended in any way by what they plan to do.
Finally, I would happily agree to let people who want to speak their minds about any issue in any manner stand in a cozy little alcove outside where the cold night air would serve to temper their bad nature. These would be the rules of my little club.
Despite the brilliance of collegiality, there are a lot of people who don't know how great it is. I don't know why, but a lot of people just haven't caught on yet. Hopefully with time this will change, but in the meantime before this fervent supporter of collegiality is dragged off to be chained on a granite monolith in a dark windowless room, I would like to make one final plea. To those who don't support collegiality, how dare you suggest that we lose something important when we compartmentalize our rights into neat little packets for the sake of prominence?